Being a best man is an honour. A privilege. A position not to be taken lightly.
But with great honour, comes great responsibility. The position of best man brings its own pressures. Supporting your best mate, organising an unforgettable stag do, and delivering a much anticipated speech on the big day itself.
Having recently been a best man, the team at Amado got in touch with me to share my experience.
So where should you begin? Here are my top tips to being a BM…
- Start early
I’m not saying you should turn into a ‘bestmanzilla’. But a little bit of prep goes a long way. I found that whenever anything came into my head, be it about the stag or speech, I just wrote it down on my phone. That way when I came to organising the stag, and writing the speech, I wasn’t scratching my head (as much…).
- Find, and use, a sounding board
I chose to keep the location of the stag do a complete secret, from everyone, and the best man’s speech is obviously not for public hearing pre the moment itself! But, with such pressure, it is worth having somebody to bounce ideas off.
My other half was a huge help. She was excellent to have around, and to get somebody else’s opinion was invaluable. Don’t forget, you can do it all yourself – but is the risk worth it? Trust me, you’re not as funny as you think…
- Come the big day
Simple one this. Just do whatever your mate asks of you. No questions. Don’t ask why, just ask how. Oh, and don’t lose the rings.
- The best man’s speech
Pretty significant this. Everyone has a different attitude to public speaking. However, regardless of your confidence, the one common hing you must do is prepare and practise. No matter if you like it or not, the best man’s speech is one of the things that people look forward to most at a wedding. Whether you’re going to learn the speech off by heart, or read it, preparation and practise are key.
In terms of the format, I’d suggest the following trinity of tips:
- Don’t try to be a comedian
- Avoid risqué stories
- Strike a balance between humour and sentiment
A wedding brings a diverse crowd, so getting the right balance is important – and isn’t always easy. Success is everyone enjoying it, not just your close mates with lots of ‘secret’ jokes.
I’d also advocate adopting points 1 and 2 above to make this process easier.
- Go the extra mile, it’s worth the effort
The likelihood is that you’re the best man because the groom thinks a lot of you. It can appear to be a task whereby you put a lot in, without a great deal immediately back. However, don’t forget the significance of being asked to undertake this role. Therefore, where possible, put the time and effort into making the groom realise how much you value being asked.
Examples could be getting the boys together the night before the wedding, creating a ‘good luck’ book with messages from people, and helping out the family preparation leading up to the big day.
If it helps the day, and it helps the groom, you’re delivering on being the best man.